Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Remember: Tomorrow is Independence Day, not to be confused with February 14th, which is Codependence Day.
My thoughts are also with Grandpa Simpson on the passing of his beloved Matlock.
ESPN says they have no hard feelings over Erin Andrews’ move to FOX, will peep in on her regularly to see how she’s doing.
TMZ following Scientology representatives following Katie Holmes is like the Human Centipede of celebrity intrigue.
BREAKING: Anderson Cooper comes out in favor of individual man dates.
Yellow Pages keeps sending me phone books. #firstworldproblems
“Marriage isn’t a contest, you know.” – me, lying to my wife about marriage
TV Icon Andy Griffith Dead at 86. In the last few years we’ve lost many talented actors and Corey Haim
Just got an Instagram MRI. Doctors are diagnosing my colon as “wistful.”
The rumor is Mitt Romney is getting overconfident. At least, that was the talk today at the Romney Presidential Library.
You know you watch too much MMA that while watching a porn you yell “Stand them up!”
Get off the toilet and go back to your families. Twitter doesn’t love you back.