Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
It also happens in a Lamborghini. RT @chrisbrown: Bullying isn’t just something that happens in school.
The way airplane toilets flush, it’s like they’re mad you took a shit.
The worst part of Dark Knight Rises is when they unveil the Joe Paterno statue at the end.
I just drank four beers and I don’t even have a buzz. #FirstWorldProblems
I bought a Mike Tyson grill but it was just a set of dentures with two gold teeth?
Bright orange nail polish is the official vacation nail polish for chicks named Tara.
In a show of conservative support, Michele Bachmann just unhinged her jaw and ate an entire Chick-fil-A restaurant.
“Excuse me, my eyes are up her- OH FUCK NOT AGAIN.” – Medusa
Chick-fil-A could punt kittens, I’d still eat it.
“I’m dead to me.” – depressed mobster.
If music is the universal language then Nickelback is cosmically illiterate.