Madonna’s tour demands have been leaked to the Intrawebs, revealing that the iconic pop star demands that her hotel room feel as close to home as humanly possible. The list of requests, which are referred to as “backstage riders”, are often a great source of entertainment in their own right. In fact, the Smoking Gun has an entire database devoted to such things. If you’ve ever wanted to know what, exactly, musicians, actors, and politicians require promoters to provide during their scheduled appearances, by all means, stop by and have a look.

Although Madonna’s demands aren’t nearly as ridiculous as you might initially imagine, they are a bit extravagant and more than a little excessive. For example, not only does the “Like a Virgin” singer travel with a 200-person entourage and 30 bodyguards, she also requires a team of professional chefs, a yoga instructor, an acupuncturist, and an on-site dry cleaner to tend to any stains, spills, or spots which may occur during her stay.

If that doesn’t sound entirely unreasonable, let’s discuss the 20 international phone lines that are to be installed in her hotel room. This, of course, is in addition to the special fabrics that must be draped over every piece of furniture and the never-ending supply of flowers that are to be trimmed to precisely six inches. She’s the material girl for a reason.

Why does Madonna need all of this stuff, you ask? According to In Touch magazine, the singer needs to feel as though she’s at home when she’s on the road. If she doesn’t feel properly comforted by her surroundings, her stage show suffers as a result. Whatever happened to just needing the screaming adoration of your legion of fans? Fame, fortune, and countless accolades aren’t enough to make some famous folks happy, I suppose.