Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Facebook now has 901 million users and all of them have invited me to play FarmVille.
I think metta world peace should change his name to holy flying elbow
BREAKING: In Possible Gaffe, Romney Offers Rubio Job at his House
If you ever take one of those “Which Game of Thrones character are you?” quizzes and your results say “Joffrey” go put your head in an oven.
@AP: Lindsay Lohan to portray Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime film about her love affair with Richard BurtonThe later years, I assume. RT
If your laundry smells like fire and stale beer, you win at weekends.
James Harrison should expect to receive a fine for that hit James Harden took from Metta World Peace.
Monday mornings are a lot like getting kicked in the balls.
If I spend another dollar at Taco Bell I deserve a Mexican passport.
It’s pretty strange that Party City is such a boring place to hang out.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Elizabeth Taylor is going to be perfect as Lindsay Lohan.
I’ve never skydived but I’ve checked Twitter on my phone while standing over a toilet. So, I get the gist.