Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Limp Bizkit called it quits. August 17, 2012 = The day that music died
For a neutral country, the Swiss Army sure has some advanced weaponry
If you plan to ride the Pineapple Express to Hogwarts, you’ll probably be a Hufflepuff.
“Look, I’m George Washington Carver.” -The guy sculpting George Washington in Mt. Rushmore
I don’t wanna sound like a badass or anything… But I just saved a starving child by “Liking” a picture on Facebook.
Scientists may have created a male birth control pill? I found that secret years ago: Whiskey.
Fred slowly turned to face the mirror “Durst I?” “Yes you durst.” Responded his reflection. A tear of pure Four Loko trailed down his cheek.
It’s Friday! Time for my follower count to go up and down like Kim Kardashian at NBA All Star Weekend.
The new Starbucks barista sure has some venti tits.
Fred Durst’s Limp Bizkit news has led @joerogan and I to announce we will no longer be doing the Man Show. All apologies.
I really don’t think I’m better than anyone else. Unless you watch Big Brother. Then I’m much much better than you.
Advice: Never trust an auto mechanic who doesn’t have a good smut calendar in his garage.