“Law & Order: SVU” premiered its 15th season on Wednesday night, and the show’s reputation for pushing boundaries has fans buzzing on Twitter and Facebook today. It was so shocking, in fact, that one of the show’s actresses says it really affected her to the point that she was “nervous” to go to work.

“It was, without a doubt, the most difficult episode I ever shot in 15 years, and it was unlike anything I’ve ever done,” Mariska Hargitay said. “But I have to tell you, after 15 years, to be nervous and scared and excited to go to work—it’s a pretty great thing.”

Hargitay–who plays Detective Olivia Benson on the show–opened the premiere by being held at gunpoint by a serial rapist, a storyline that picked up where last season left off. One of the hardest things about shooting such an emotionally charged scene, she says, is the invisible line between wanting to make it as realistic as possible and keeping it from affecting you in a negative way.

“When you’re acting, your body doesn’t know the difference of acting or being in reality, and you try to keep it real…I think you pretty much play the what-if game. It’s just about believing it. I think that’s why you study your whole life to be focused and be present,” she said.

The episode sent fans to Twitter to post about their anxiety as they sat on the edges of their seats (WARNING: possible spoilers). Meanwhile, there’s Emmy talk for Hargitay’s performance.

I don't normally tweet about TV, but holy cow @nbcsvu – this is intense. #SaveBenson

— Susie Eldred (@susieeldred) September 26, 2013

realizing we still have over an hour & minutes until the end of this episode…@nbcsvu this is torture #savebenson pic.twitter.com/SM4xYjI3yx

— carlton banks (@sir_dapper) September 26, 2013

This episode was making my stomach hurt… Until #badassbenson saved herself. @nbcsvu

— Rose Kelly (@RoseTheIntern) September 26, 2013

"He doesn't get to take that from me." #BensonLIVES

— Law and Order: SVU (@nbcsvu) September 26, 2013

Olivia Benson IS superwoman and don't EVER forget it! My hero! #SAVEBENSON @nbcsvu @Mariska

— Alina Pride (@alinapride) September 26, 2013

If y'all arent watching @nbcsvu right now,I dont know what to tell you…except to watch it…& to bring the white cheddar popcorn #SVULove

— Five-Leaf Clover Vol (@GreenIdBandit23) September 26, 2013

Image: Twitter