Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Just walked by the Kardashian Kollection at Sears and now I smell like latex and penicillin.
Given its trendy name, I thought iHop would be cooler somehow.
Any North Koreans exhibiting signs of Gangnam Style will be executed.
The content owner has not made this video available on mobile. #FirstWorldProblems
“Keep out of Lindsay Lohan” -Trouble
Before your birthday party know that 5 minutes before showing up everyone’s had the “We’ll stay for an hour then leave” car conversation.
Weird to think about how many different decades Larry King has fingered people in.
I wanted to do a good deed today, so I retweeted the link of that cop giving the homeless guy shoes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice I’m calling 911 you obviously haven’t heard of our tough new two strikes law. Enjoy prison, asshole
“What do you mean, these are my birthday AND Christmas presents this year?? God dammit!” – Jesus
Women are like snowflakes: they can’t drive
It’s pretty amazing that the winning Powerball numbers are EXACTLY the same as my age when I was 5, 23, 16, 22, 29 and even 6 years old.
“I’m really excited about iTunes 11” – people that kept going to Tower Records into the 2000s.