Kris Jenner is writing a book of Keeping Up With the Kardashian secrets and it’s due out this fall. Will this new book include secrets about whether or not she and daughter Kim Kardashian staged the whole Kris Humphries wedding debacle or how Khloe Kardashian went from grieving her marriage to Lamar Odom and straight into the arms of French Montana? No. Oh, Kris Jenner’s secrets are much juicier than that.

In fact, they’re so juicy you’d best get out your finest linen napkins to wipe up the mess–and your apron, too. Yes, Kris Jenner is publishing a book of secret Kardashian family recipes. They’re not so much secret recipes, she said in a recent interview. Instead they’re more of a collection of tried and true recipes that ‘everyone’ is asking for and she simply doesn’t have time to hand them out one by one.

“I finally got so tired of sharing my recipes one-by-one with everybody that asked, that it just made sense to do a book and put it all together,” Kris said.

Kris Jenner has released a cook book yet they have a family chef???

— Chris' Sister (@M4RYDELAMARE) July 21, 2014

why has Kris Jenner brought out a cook book when the Kardashian's either eat out or hire caterers in every episode?

— A (@_annnnnnnna) July 21, 2014

In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites is set to hit book stores and online book sellers on October 21st–and yes, that’s ‘Kollection’ with a ‘K.’ Kris Jenner won’t live long enough to stop capitalizing on her late ex-husband’s last name. She won’t live long enough to stop capitalizing everything that begins with the letter ‘K’ either.

A plus for enthused fans is that Kris not only shares her recipes in the book, but shares her entertaining tips as well.

“I think that what I love so much about our life is that we love to celebrate, we love tradition,” she said.

You read right: @KrisJenner is releasing a cook book. Would you buy it? pic.twitter.com/VQydmwH89g

— People Magazine SA (@People_SA) July 22, 2014

So what can fans learn to make if they shell out what will certainly be a hefty sum to acquire a copy of the ‘Kollection’ of recipes compiled by Kris Jenner? Grilled cheese.

“I make a really mean grilled cheese sandwich so Mason and Penelope love my grilled cheese sandwiches,” she shared.

Will you be pre-ordering your copy of In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites to assure you get a copy because they’ll surely sell out? Rumor has it on page 113 you may even find a secret Keeping Up With the Kardashians recipe for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, too. Kris Jenner probably makes that for Rob Kardashian when he dares step inside her estrogen-filled estate. Perhaps she has even taught Kendall Jenner how to make one of her own.

Oh, wait. Kendall doesn’t eat. She’s a model now.

Note to Kris Jenner: Make sure page 16 features Kendall or Kylie Jenner’s recipe for cucumber water.

Image via Instagram