Kris Jenner Laughs at You, All the Way to the Bank

Kris Jenner has always been the backbone of the Keeping Up with the Kardashians clan. She has managed her daughters’ careers with skill and aplomb for years, turning their dual family names into hou...
Kris Jenner Laughs at You, All the Way to the Bank
Written by Mike Tuttle
  • Kris Jenner has always been the backbone of the Keeping Up with the Kardashians clan. She has managed her daughters’ careers with skill and aplomb for years, turning their dual family names into household words.

    Raising a family in a celebrity spotlight is tough for anyone. Halle Berry wants to take her daughter out of the country to avoid the paparazzi. Other stars like Johnny Depp have already done so. But the Kardashian/Jenner bunch is different. They don’t run from the paparazzi. They turn and run toward it.

    Like enterprising fisherman of yesteryear who turned what had always been considered a disgusting insect fit only for consumption by the poorest — the lobster — into a delicacy for the rich, Kris Jenner has made an art out of putting every bit of her family on display for gawkers and droolers. She’s turned Spam into caviar.

    Kris Jenner has come a long way since being Mrs. Robert Kardashian, a lawyer’s wife. Her second marriage is now over. She is running around with a man younger than some of her own kids.

    Her estranged husband, a former Olympic champion once seen as the epitome of virility and masculinity, is wearing nail polish and diamond stud earrings, getting his esophagus shaven, and refusing to address rumors that he really wants to be a woman.

    One daughter has left divorce papers unsigned for a year, while hooking up with opportunist semi-stars. Another got her big break thanks to a sex tape. Things that would bring a scandalous end to a celebrity’s career in days gone by are Kris Jenner’s stock-in-trade.

    But Kris Jenner plays America like a busted, sticky fiddle. Her sex-tape star daughter now has a super-celeb husband and a daughter — all camera fodder, but wealthy as all get-out. Another daughter recently climbed into the lap of a known woman-beater, mugging for the cameras. But she also just landed several heavily-sought-after modeling contracts.

    The KUWTK brand is big enough that it can run year-round. When one series ends, another begins. Every rumor and happening gets played twice — once when it initially happens, and again when the episode featuring it airs later that year.

    Kris Jenner was even so bold as to publish a cookbook recently that contained recipes from Nicole Brown Simpson, the woman allegedly murdered by the man her late husband famously defended in court.

    Kris Jenner is laughing all the way to the bank, America. Her life is better than yours. And you pay her to watch it.

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