Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Kourtney Kardashian named her new baby ‘Penelope Scotland’ so she’s pretty much already a stripper.
Adrian Peterson to join several Lions and Sam Hurd on the NFC North prison yard team.
“Tom Cruise’s marriage didn’t work out because Tom Cruise is married to being awesome in movies.” -What His Publicists Should Be Saying
Poll: 9 out of 10 people who stayed at Motel 6 wish the light was left off.
Every kid on the Disney Channel looks like they should be slapped on the back of the head and forced to do a summer of yard work.
My roommates watched the Transformers movie, now Netflix thinks I like terrible movies. #firstworldproblems
Depression gets a bad rap but it can help you do things you’d never imagined possible. For example, today I cried over a hot dog commercial.
Congratulations to Kourtney Kardashian on the birth of her next season!
Ah, humanity. I give you rainbows, but you prefer 50 Shades of Grey.
How do I, as a person, go on airplane mode?
Oh, elderly neighbor: You defeated Hitler, yet you somehow can’t figure out the car alarm?
What I dislike most about Twitter is finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left and having to decide which grammar crime to commit.