Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
“Binders Full of Women” is my favorite Motley Crue album. #debate
At this point, it’s kind of embarrassing if your pet isn’t a YouTube sensation.
Cannabis and cannibal almost sound the same, which is fucking crazy to think about when you’re high and eating people.
I don’t have enough apple chargers for all of my apple devices. #firstworldproblems
Mornings after a debate, Twitter just lies in bed smoking a cigarette. We’re all spent.
That cop says I should go to jail for smoking PCP in my car, but I say that cop should go to jail for being a saber-toothed tiger
Barack 100% used a binder joke on Michelle last night and Barack 100% slept on a couch for the second straight debate night.
I think I’m like two kale smoothies away from achieving immortality
Did Flavor Flav clock his girlfriend?
Everyone gets tired thinking about stairs, right?
Canadians watch US politics like Americans watch Honey Boo Boo.
Congrats to Megan Fox on the birth of her son. 7 pounds, 12 ounces. The baby is doing fine as well.