The tabloids really, really want Jennifer Aniston to have a baby.

Why else would they keep reporting her nonexistent pregnancy?

Page Six did some research into this phenomenon. In the last five years, nearly 45 weekly tabloids have reported the star pregnant. This week, they were joined by Life & Style with a headline reading, “Jen’s Adoption Surprise … It’s a Girl.” Their explanation? “After years of struggling with infertility, she had been considering adoption — and during their trip, Justin told his lady love he was on board, too.”

The rumor has even earned a comment from Aniston’s publicist, Stephen Huvane, who said, “We don’t have an answer to this question. It’s beyond absurd and proves the point that no one should believe what’s written in the tabloids and gossip columns and blogs.”

Last month, Huvane was still attempting to dispel any and all pregnancy and baby rumors. “Jennifer is NOT pregnant,” he said.

Her fiancé Justin Theroux, however, has been thinking about the ramifications of fatherhood. “The strange thing is that I’ve started to feel oddly parental towards my on-screen children,” he said according to the IB Times, “They’ve just moved to New York for the show and I’ve gotten a little protective, making sure they get home OK. I find myself checking in on them at the weekend – are you doing alright? Did you work that out? Wait, when are you moving? Who’s moving you? I’m a real protective fake dad.”

Even though Theroux said, “my life has changed a lot,” thanks to Aniston, it looks like they won’t be having a baby any time soon. The tabloids should probably stop wasting their time and find another celebrity couple to pester.