Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Higgs Boson is the name of the villain on the next season of “Justified.”
I hope Higgs-Boson isn’t an Old Testament God particle.
Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks
If Jeremy Lin becomes a Rocket, it will be the biggest advancement the Chinese Space Program has seen in decades.
Breaking: Syfy channel just bought the rights to cover the birth of Snooki’s baby.
“More fireworks on Instagram!” –no one
U.S. says mermaids don’t exist. Of course it also says Korea wasn’t a war. Ariel, we stand with you. Or tread water. Whatever.
For 50 years physicists have been looking for the Higgs Boson particle, and now they finally found it. Turns out it’s in any woman’s bra.
I keep hearing about the “huge problem” of whales getting caught in fishnets. I say, if a whale wants to cross-dress, let him.
Rappers shouldn’t have to file taxes because they itemize everything they own in songs.
“Look, I’m not racist, but…” -someone who doesn’t finish their sentences
Today’s Tip: To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.