Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
“I got hose in different area codes.” -traveling fireman
Sending in my application to be an NFL ref, wish me luck!
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is just Little House on the Prairie after huffing spray paint.
1st person to make nostalgic montage of blown replacement ref calls w/ Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) gets 10000 ironic hugs.
The Dr. Seuss bestiality book “The Hat in the Cat” didn’t do as well.
Good news: The NFL refs are coming back! Bad news: ESPN is going to start talking about Tim Tebow again.
If Britney Spears can get through 2007, you can get through today.
Honk if you are reading this.
And do you, generic disposable Kardashian husband, promise to love, honor & obey the narrative; ’til meh do you part?
This November I’ll be voting for the candidate who can solve the #bacon shortage.
Halloween is the best holiday because you get to pretend to be something you aren’t. This year I’m going as “impressed by your children.”