Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Mitt Romney to admit that he smoked a little Romneycare but he never inhaled.
“The Price is Right” wants to hire a male model. If it helps, I can bring my own gowns.
David Copperfield should maybe stop being such a dick and turn one of the oceans into mac n cheese.
I wish I had Kim Kardashian’s talent of not having any talent and making money out of it.
My boss discovered Dubstep and now that’s all he plays on the community stereo at work. #FirstWorldProblems
Everyone should be friends with 1 weirdo who’s fun to drink with but is so bizarre that you’re afraid to spend the night at their house.
“Sorry, Congressman Ryan, but the Governor is already wearing a fabric belt covered in whales. Please wrap this sweater around your waist.”
Every single person on TV in the 70’s was drunk.
Look, if our elected leaders can’t make allusions to slavery in their rhetoric then the terrorists win.
SELF DRIVING CARS COMING SOON? THANK TO CELL PHONES! PEOPLE LETTING CARS DRIVE THEMSELVES FOR YEARS NOW!
That Cheerios honey-bee is NOT an accurate representation of how bees act when you take their honey.