With Coachella’s first weekend of revelry coming to a close boasting 23 drug and alcohol related arrests, reports of an incredibly disappointing Outkast performance, and ever-increasing price tags, the music festival is cementing a reputation as the worst way to see live music, ever.
Although the line-up appeals to a broad range of tastes and includes artists like Haim and GirlTalk (who?) for the Youngs and standbys Arcade Fire for the Olds, this doesn’t make up for the questionable traditions that go hand-in-hand with Coachella. For example, most people can’t drop $6,500 for a tent or, if they can, have better sense than to insult an entire race of people by donning Native American headdresses while they enjoy that lush pop-up pad. Which is what, it seems, Coachella is all about. Instead of reports highlighting the music, potential festival-goers are regaled with guides such as “How Not To Look Like A Douchebag At Coachella” and “How To Dress For Coachella Without Looking Like A Crazy Person.” This does not bode well for those who just want to see Pharrell hop around and wear weird hats.
It's almost the end of Day 2 — lose yourself to dance. ♫ pic.twitter.com/W57vfhEd0b
— Coachella (@coachella) April 13, 2014
With all the information circulating about the (terrible) Coachella experience, it seems everyone is aware it’s just a bad acid trip with a better-than-average soundtrack. But Coachella still sees high profits, with a reported $67 million in revenue in 2013. So we know it’s terrible, you know it’s terrible, but there are still those who believe wearing a fedora while being elbowed by a hangry Coachella Dieter is a thrill ride. This could be because celebrities are being paid to pretend they love being broiled by the desert sun while listening to their favorite artists. Who knows.
But to the thirty-somethings claiming you couldn’t attend because all your cutoff denim was lost in that fire: you made the right choice. If you missed it this weekend, you can still catch the same lineup next weekend from the comfort of your own laptop.
Image via YouTube