Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
I just realized Cookie Monster never actually eats a cookie, They just crumble out of his mouth. He’s like a tragic figure from Greek myth.
Facebook is where I go to watch the first 15 seconds of a hilarious/inspiring viral video.
Just told my kids about Chumbawamba splitting up. They pretended not to know who I was talking about, which just made it harder. So brave.
Best of luck to Tom Cruise on reaching his thermostat all by himself in this heat wave. http://t.co/qxRACstd
I’ve never been interrogated, but I have ordered a sandwich at subway, so I think I’m prepared.
Congratulations to Kourtney Kardashian for giving birth to a plot point.
Chumbawamba broke up today, so make sure to pour out a whiskey drink tonight. Or a vodka drink. Or a cider drink.
Re: iPad: I haven’t heard of this many nerds obsessed with number of inches since high school.
If you like the gals on ’16 and Pregnant’ just wait a few more years, you’ll love them on their next show ’32 Year Old Grandma’.
Happy National No Bra Day, Phil Mickelson.
I’m watching two sports events and both keep going to commercial at the same time… #FirstWorldProblems
“You know who I’m worried about?” is a great segue into saying a lot of shitty stuff about someone.