The world paid homage today to one of the biggest bad-asses of our time, Chuck Norris. The actor and all-around tough guy turned 74 today, but can still knock you out, blindfolded, and with his hands tied around his back.
Known for his roles in Lone Wolf McQuade, Delta Force, and Good Guys Wear Black, Norris is most often seen gracing the Internet in a variety of different memes with hilarious sayings. He is also known for being a staunch Republican who backs a number of right-wing causes and candidates.
Norris began his notoriety as one of the biggest action film stars in Hollywood, and in 1990 became the first martial artist in the Western hemisphere to become an 8th degree black belt grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do. Like I said, he will lay the smack down on you.
Through a fierce combo of roundhouse kicks and straight-arm punches, Norris found his way into the homes – and hearts – of just about every action movie fan in America. Things got even more real when Norris began incorporating his martial arts mastery with heavy duty weapons in movies like Forced Vengeance and Missing in Action. One of his most recent popular works is his role in Walker, Texas Ranger.
However, through the web, Norris has become the king of the one-liners. People who don’t even know Chuck Norris, know of Chuck Norris because of these clever and hilarious jokes.
Watch Chuck Norris read some of them, here:
And here are a few others:
“Chuck Norris died twenty years ago. Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.”
“When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”
“Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.”
“Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.”
“Chuck Norris once made a Happy Meal cry.”
“Some people wear superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.”
And last but not least…
“If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won’t be able to find you.”
Even Twitter got in on the Norris one-liners today:
In honor of Chuck Norris' 74th birthday-"Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug. The bear is still alive, it is just afraid to move."
— Tony Akers (@akerstony) March 10, 2014
Happy birthday Chuck Norris! May you continue to roundhouse kick anyone who tries to mess with Texas. pic.twitter.com/PgcbXRJjFl
— Sorry, I'm Texan (@SorryImTexan) March 11, 2014
In honor of Chuck Norris' birthday, I would like to remind everyone that Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door…
— Matt Mitchell (@MattM_KVUE) March 11, 2014
One more for the road on Chuck's birthday… "Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square."
— Jed Drenning (@TheSignalCaller) March 11, 2014
Happy Birthday Chuck Norris…… Yep, Chuck should be added to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not tough enough for his beard
— arturo padilla (@arturopadilla1) March 11, 2014
Happy birthday, Mr. Norris. Remember, you’re not happy to be 74, 74 is happy to be you.
Image via YouTube