Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Candy Corn Oreos hit stores today. For those of you who would like to be on Fear Factor but don’t have the time to audition.
If I were a vampire I would totally stock up on forever stamps.
Apple is redesigning earbuds for the new iPhone. They’ll hurt more than the old ones and require special ears from the Apple Store.
I’m worried that the Chris Brown thing is going to ruin the good name of the Neck Tattoo community.
When you cancel on me, you’re a flake. When I cancel on you, I don’t know why you make such a big deal about it, asshole.
Here’s hoping the iPhone 5 totally revolutionizes the way I ignore human beings. http://t.co/KkPq8BRE
If you want to feel better about your day, just think, someone somewhere is waiting for a callback for a Monistat commercial.
Rumor has it that O.J. Simpson is Khloe Kardashian’s real father. That would explain the…well, everything.
If there’s anything we can learn from the O.J. trial, it’s that we should go ahead and take note of Chris Brown’s glove size.
Candy Corn Oreos are coming for Halloween. Okay, maybe the Evangelicals are right, maybe it is a Satanic holiday.
MORGAN FREEMAN HOAX! NO SEE ANYONE DIE SO OFTEN SINCE DRUNK HULK GRANDMA DIE EVERY WEEK BACK IN COLLEGE!
“Let’s not split hairs anymore.” – Bored Barber-Scientists
Today we honor 11 years of people subtly looking for sympathy because their birthday is September 11th.
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