Cab Vomit Fee: Blowing Chunks Could Cost You Big Bucks

A cab vomit fee doesn’t seem all that far-fetched to me. Given the amount of folks who probably spew copious amounts of puke all over the inside of taxis on a regular basis, I’m surprise more cities aren’t adopting some sort payment system. You defile the back seat, you have to pay extra. That should include any bodily fluids, as I’m sure drivers are forced to contend with a wide variety of expulsions during their careers.

The next time you’re feeling woozy in Chicago and decide to empty the contents of your stomach onto the floorboard of a cab, you may find yourself staring down a $50 fine, courtesy of the city itself. On July 1st, your uncouth, uncivilized behavior, which is usually the result of too much alcohol, will take a small chunk out of your wallet. Honestly, if they want to really drive the point home, they’ll charge these clowns more than just $50. Anyone who thinks they can barf profusely into a cab and not have to deal with the consequences deserves to have their bank account drained. In my opinion, the fine should be based on weight and volume.

“As a retired Chicago cabbie, this tax is a good thing,” said Stan Schulz. “Since I mostly drove nights and dealt with a lot of drunks, I had to clean up passengers vomit many times.. you have to get the smell out of your cab immediately or other people will refuse to get in the car.”

If you think a $50 cab vomit fee is unfair, then perhaps you should take R.L. Stine’s advice and just roll down the window and blow chunks onto the poor schmoes standing on the sidewalk. By the time they realize what they’re covered in, chances are you’ll be blocks away from the scene of the crime. Unless, of course, you’re stuck in traffic. If that’s the case, then, again, you deserve whatever repercussions lie ahead.

How do folks on Twitter feel about the fine? You can sample some of their reactions in the space provided below. Unless you’re just an insensitive alcoholic with a serious chip on your shoulder about the right to puke while intoxicated, chances are you’ll be amused.