Since the dawn of time, there have been thieves. Big animals stole from little ones, ancient man took what they needed to survive, and later, when money was invented, a whole new breed of criminal was born. But that doesn’t mean they got any smarter.

With the story today out of Australia that a busty lady had robbed a gas station without bothering to cover up her face (or, barring that, her boobs), I felt compelled to look back at some other criminals who displayed bad judgement so our new chesty friend won’t feel so bad.

This first video is from surveillance footage around and inside a convenience store. Watch as the guy keeps taking falls like a champ (and bottles to the head!) before eventually giving up:

This is one of my favorite things the internet has ever provided, in a series of other awesome things. It’s a real 911 call set to an animated version of the events. Listen closely for the man’s protest of “Das a lie” when the caller claims he stole her beer. NSFW, unless you have headphones.

Spanking your assailant is probably the most badass thing you can do.

Yeah…you might want to put your mask on before you rob the gas station. Just a guess.