Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s offspring and frequent target of Internet hatred, has decided to weigh in on Obama’s public support of same-sex marriage. Because, you know, everyone on the planet was collectively holding their breath until she shared her thoughts and feelings on the subject with the world at-large.

According to Bristol, President Obama’s daughters are the reason he’s decided to come out in support of same-sex marriage, which, she claims, is a “shame”. Her opinions on the topic were a part of a blog post entitled “Hail to the Chiefs – Malia and Sasha Obama”, in which she states that the commander-in-chief is being heavily influenced by his family.

“While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads,” Palin wrote. “In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.”

If those pearls of wisdom weren’t enough, Bristol continues, “Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview. In this situation, it was the other way around. I guess we can be glad that Malia and Sasha aren’t younger, or perhaps today’s press conference might have been about appointing Dora the Explorer as Attorney General because of her success in stopping Swiper the Fox.”

In her quest to name-check as many popular television programs as she possibly can, Palin concluded, “In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of ‘Glee’.”

Given the unconventional nature of her own family — I don’t think thousands of years of thinking about marriage included being an unwed mother — Bristol isn’t really in any position to criticize. People across the nation have taken to Twitter to discuss the matter. You can find a few select posts in the space below.