Blockbuster Pushes Up Daisies!

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One day you’re in; the next day you’re out. Ladies and gentlemen, as it comes to absolutely nobody’s surprise, Blockbuster is out!

It has been determined that Blockbuster will be closing its remaining 300 locations by the start of 2014. According to the recent confessions of Blockbuster’s parent company DISH Network, Blockbuster’s DVD-by-mail service will also be discontinued.

Due to the rising popularity of movie-streaming brands like Netflix, customers were happy to divorce Blockbuster and all other walk-in movie rental stores alike.

It is all too evident that the old, strenuous way of walking into a video store and filtering through the maze of VHS and DVD boxes has become too much work.

No more squinting to read the title of the movie on the side of its cover. No more pulling the video off the shelf only to realize that it is the wrong damn movie, and now you have to try to put it back after knocking over all the other videos like dominoes. That old movie-hunting workout is no more.

America is technologically spoiled, and the folks at DISH Network are finally accepting the new reality. Joseph Clayton, the CEO of DISH, revealed on Wednesday that the decisions made toward shutting down the physical locations of Blockbuster were difficult to render:

“This is not an easy decision, yet customer demand is moving to digital distribution of video entertainment.”

But while Dish Network is most certainly grateful for the public’s condolences, the company is trying hard as Hell to remain strong, as Joseph Clayton reported optimistically about the financially ill video chain during the funera—um, in a press release.

“Despite our closing of the physical distribution elements of the business, we continue to see value in the Blockbuster brand, and we expect to leverage that brand as we continue to expand our digital offerings."

Image via Wikimeida Commons

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