Apparently, in Florida, You Can ‘Drive Off’ Your Drunk

If you’re super messed up and being an annoying asshole, your wife might tell you to go “sleep it off.” That’ll work, given enough time. You might think you can go “walk ...
Apparently, in Florida, You Can ‘Drive Off’ Your Drunk
Written by Josh Wolford
  • If you’re super messed up and being an annoying asshole, your wife might tell you to go “sleep it off.” That’ll work, given enough time.

    You might think you can go “walk it off” or perhaps “Waffle House it off.” Neither of these will help, but they probably won’t hurt either–unless you walk into oncoming traffic or go overboard with the smothering and covering.

    Now here’s something that’s not only useless but also dangerous and stupid. For this, we go to Florida (of course).

    A Florida man–you know, the world’s worst superhero–was arrested on suspicious of driving under the influence after telling a police officer than he was in the process of driving off his super drunk.

    Michael Moore (not that Michael Moore), 61, was pulled over in Hobe Sound, Florida for speeding. Officers noticed a smell of alcohol and stated that Moore was slurring his words.

    I’ll let the TCPalm’s Will Greenlee take it from here:

    He told one officer he was coming from home and had “a couple” of drinks. He said he was en route to a bar for “a few” more.

    Moore told another officer he got in an argument with his wife and left for a drive.

    “He also told me that his wife told him that he (had) been drinking too much so he decided to go out and ‘drive it off,'” an arrest affidavit states.

    That’s a new one.

    Florida man strikes again.

    Image via Thinkstock

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