Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Not sure why Chris Christie thinks same-sex marriage would do more harm to his state than "Jersey Shore" has.
Man auctions off vial of Reagan blood. He should have taken it to Pawn Stars so that Big Hoss could explain to the audience who Reagan was.
When the Huffington Post says someone 'flipped out!' it usually means they spoke a little more loudly than normal.
The Golden State Warriors are moving to San Francisco. What a terrible loss for the wonderful city of Golden State.
"Revenge is a dish best served... BOLD." - I want to hear Taylor Lautner say this then throw a donkey at a helicopter
The worst thing about donating to public radio is IT DOES NOT MAKE THEM STOP ASKING.
Professional wrestler name: Office Max. Signature move: Three Hole Punch.
Why is the symbols row of my keyboard swearing at me
It's World Goth Day and somewhere Glenn Danzig is cleaning out kitty litter.
I took the protective case off my iPhone. I've never felt so alive!
People asking me to come to Boston: please understand I'd rather eat falafel out of a dog's asshole.
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
I'm living my Rock and Roll Fantasy (I blast Cinderella in my car on the way to work).
It’s so much sadder when pretty children are kidnapped.
He's Fat! He's Skinny! Two Brothers, TOO FUNNY! Adam Sandler AND Adam Sandler in "Bud is Thicker than Walter!"