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Gingers, Memorial Day, and Travolta Time-Out

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Gingers, Memorial Day, and Travolta Time-Out
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  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Blake Griffin joins Carson Palmer to form the Society of Gingers Who Have Made the Playoffs But Haven’t Won A Single Playoff Game.
    3 hours ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto
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    Michele Pheiffer’s tribute to Michael Jackson, in the form of her face, is really very sweet.
    3 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
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    My therapist says my mental issues are a result of my upbringing. I had to remind him that he’s my physical therapist & my knee hurts.
    3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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    Whenever you see someone with a cell phone on their belt clip you should immediately congratulate them on having a cell phone.
    4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    BRB gonna take a little “Travolta Time-Out”
    1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS · powered by @socialditto
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    There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
    1 hour ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
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    My “neighbor” policy is: You’re the worst until proven tolerable.
    1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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    If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
    2 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
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    Just finished working on my Memorial Day deviled eggs. Hope they keep.
    2 hours ago via Twitterrific for Mac · powered by @socialditto
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    Just saw Mark Zuckerberg returning a 2-Piece Mini Cupcake Spatula Set to Crate & Barrel for .95 store credit. Must have gotten 2 of them.
    2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    The only thing worse than Monday mornings are… every other morning. I’m unemployed. Please hire me.
    2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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    It was a bad idea to ask Siri, “What do women want?” She’s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn’t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
    3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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    CVS takes great pleasure in offering you coupons for things you just bought and won’t need to buy again for several weeks.
    3 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
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    I always get babies and polaroid pictures mixed up. Which one develops faster when you shake it?
    3 hours ago via Facebook · powered by @socialditto
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    Hey, girl in a one piece, your ugly is timeless.
    4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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