Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, we look at tweets from two of the day’s persistent hashtags, #tatooinesexslang and #6wordstories. We also see the adverse effect of eating that leftover Halloween candy and look at some Philosophical Football.
Enjoy!
@TheRyanFactor
Ryan TaylorThe Tuskan Raider, where after you’re done, you grab the lamp, hoist it above your head and yell at the top of your lungs. #tatooinesexslang
28 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@robdelaney
rob delaneyI broke the light in my refrigerator so it wouldn’t blind me when I nightfeed. 7 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
@mileskahn
mileskahnCrumbling Doritos on a salad is something normal people do, right? 7 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@Lord_Voldemort7
The Dark Lord#6wordstories: This was more entertaining than Twilight. 8 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@ThatKevinSmith
KevinSmithThe Third Moon of Yavin is where I stick my Y-Wing. #tatooinesexslang 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Smethanie
StephanieI’ve eaten so much leftover Halloween chocolate in the past few days that I’ve confused my body into having PMS. 7 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonWe don’t know that eggnog isn’t Santa Claus jizz. 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@firstworldme
First World ProblemsM&Ms melt in your mouth AND in your hands. #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto
@SamGrittner
Sam GrittnerThe only thing worse than getting AIDS is regifting it. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@RoseWard2
Rose WardBantha Fodder; Hooking up with the ugly girl so your friend can get some action #Tatooinesexslang 30 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s Head#PhilosophicalFootball If Tim Tebow throws a pass in the forest, and nobody is around to see it, is it still ugly? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheBosha
The BoshaWhy is anyone surprised by these Herman Cain harassment allegations? The bucka-bucka wow-wow always starts when the pizza guy arrives. 3 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@PotEtiquette
Pot Etiquette#6wordstories: Named my pipe “Lucky.” It broke. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@scullymike
Mike ScullyGuess who’s got a baby bump??? My grandson who I accidentally dropped on his head!!! 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Justin_Stangel
Justin StangelZooey Deschanel & husband Ben Gibbard split. Maybe he couldn’t take her singing in those annoying cotton commercials 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@pattonoswalt
Patton Oswalt“Letting the Wookie win” — getting cock-blocked by a pretty girl’s ugly friend at the bar. #tatooinesexslang 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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