Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we learn how the Batman legend could have turned out differently. We also find out what it’s called when Vanilla Ice buys Microsoft products for his mom.
Enjoy!
@badbanana
Tim SiedellHappy winter solstice, Northern Hemisphere! And happy whatever it is to you, Australia. Easter? 2009? Seriously, no clue.
6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DannyZuker
Danny ZukerGotham would be a vastly different city had Bruce Wayne conquered a childhood fear of vaginas. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@stonrgrlproblem
Stoner Girl ProblemsIf I light a joint on hannukah, will it burn for 8 days? #stonrgrlproblems 23 hours ago via Mobile Web · powered by @socialditto
@YUCKYBOT
The False ProphetI bet at this point, Sir Mix-A-Lot just wants you to get that round thing out of his face so he can see the TV. 19 minutes ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy mom learned how to text #FirstWorldProblems 1 hour ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@jakeandamir
Amir BlumenfeldIf you wanna watch an entertaining Bradley Cooper movie, the options are Limitless. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Its_Death
Steve DeathVanilla Ice bought his mum a copy of Microsoft Office for Christmas. Word to his mother. 1 hour ago via TweetList Pro · powered by @socialditto
@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyI just saw The Girl with the Henna Tattoo at the mall. I don’t recommend it. 3 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@kellyoxford
kelly oxfordAll ready for the $acred Je$u$ holiday$? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzWeird: I just found out that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is not mentioned in the New Testament. 27 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PimpBillClinton
Bill ClintonAdmit it, you laughed when you heard Kobe Bryant injured his wrist a week after his wife filed for divorce. 1 hour ago via TweetCaster for iOS · powered by @socialditto
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee BLeaving out some milk and Snooki for Santa. Thanks for all the socks, jackass. Enjoy your herpes. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@EyeOnNFL
Eye on FootballIf Mark Sanchez is indeed dating @KateUpton (as we’ve seen gossiped), he’s a lot more clutch than we ever thought 6 hours ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto
@johnmoe
John MoeI really wish someone on Twitter would talk about the new trailer for The Hobbit. Why is everyone keeping it a secret? 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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