Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
White Chicks will forever be one of the funniest movies out there.
@NASA has found an inhabitable, Kardashian-Free planet?Did you hear that
Remember, your monkey butler is HIGHLY sexualized.
I’m worried Perez Hilton might be another one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s maid babies.
Maybe the Big East just knows something about plate tectonics and continental drift that the rest of us don’t.
If you ask me for a follow back, I create a Wikipedia page for you and tell the world you put vegetables in your butt.
Finally learned how to say Ndamukong Suh’s name. It’s pronounced, “Asshole”.
“He’s making a list, checking it twice…” – Schindler Claus
Lots of interesting smells in this Salvation Army fitting room carpet.
@KimKardashian: Can’t get my boot off &I’m all by myself! What 2 do! LOL I need someone to pull it off!You. Are. Fucking. Retarded. RT
I broke off all contact with my sister when she named her son Jaden.
The new habitable planet NASA discovered is making Earth look like a real shithole.
What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? “Give me your cell number.”
Did Steven Spielberg really direct a new movie called Whore Horse about slutty horses?
If I was Marty McFly, Lorraine would’ve gotten fucked.
Hey anyone named Maryellen. Pick a name and go with it.