Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we are treated with some tweets from a prevailing hashtag – #OccupyBandNames. We also find that Facebook has added a new “relationship status” option and learn what it really means to reach adulthood.
Just found out you can eat a big turkey dinner whenever you want without having to be thankful. This changes everything.
If there are two people in your twitter photo, I’m going to assume that you are the uglier of the two.
Does your story have anything in it that will terrify an old person? If not, it needs another rewrite.
@SportsNation Prediction of tonight’s game!!! Tim Tebow will ________.Be there! RT
“Whoa oh oh, I’m on fire.” – Springsteen, witches
Adulthood is probably when you stop taking drugs to trip out, and start taking drugs to feel normal.
NOW THAT SEXY MAN ALIVE LIST OUT! DRUNK HULK CAN FINALLY RELAX! AND LET SELF GO!
BREAKING: Facebook Introduces New Relationship Status, ‘Fuckin’ Around’
“I want to eat a bunch of blue cheese and bacon, but I also want to appear to be healthy.” – Inventor of wedge salad
I like my sex how I like my blues, performed by black men, or white men who I can pretend are black when I close my eyes.
WARNING! only 3 more days to break up w/ your girlfriend or else ride out thanksgiving, xmas, new years, valentine’s, & black history month.
Tonight on Thursday Night Football we will see who shuts down the passing game better: Darrelle Revis or Tim Tebow.