Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today Twitter is ablaze with tweets about the Conrad Murray verdict. We also learn what you can do if your don’t want to fly from Boston to New York, and we see the difference between boxing fans and football fans.
Enjoy!
@DepressedDarth
Darth VaderConrad Murray has been found guilty proving that in involuntary manslaughter cases, it don’t matter if you’re black or white. #verdict
28 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheOneMisfit
MisfitI look at people sometimes and think..”For real? That’s the sperm that won?” 4 hours ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzIt’s official: Herman Cain has now harassed more women than Godfather’s Pizza has customers. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@tompapa
Tom PapaChanged my pet turkey’s diet to high carb, high fat, milkshake diet. He thinks I love him… 5 hours ago via Twitterrific for Mac · powered by @socialditto
@FakeAPStylebook
Fake AP StylebookCORRECTION: “American Horror Story” and “Jerseylicious” are actually two different shows. Adjust reviews accordingly. 5 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinIf you don’t want to fly from Boston to New York, you can always drive on the Pats defense. 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@pattonoswalt
Patton Oswalt“This rape beverage keeps backfiring!”
— the plot of Tone Loc’s “Funky Cold Medina” 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@firstworldme
First World ProblemsMy arms hurt from holding up my smartphone in bed. #firstworldproblems 3 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto
@joshcomers
Josh ComersThe hardest part of having a cold is slyly working the fact that I have a cold into every sentence. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Smethanie
StephanieWith how much we girls talk about our emotions, you’d think we’d be able to handle them better. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonIt’s nice how all of the people outside the courthouse during the reading of the Dr. Conrad Murray verdict were given the day off of work. 35 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNBoxing fans more charitable than football fans as some offer to donate liver to Joe Frazier but none offer balls to Jay Cutler. 44 minutes ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@robfee
Rob Fee“You should have moved to Florida Dr. Murray.” – Casey Anthony 38 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@zumavegas
Diego VegaAnytime Ben Roethlisberger loses an angels gets their wings 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto
@robfee
Rob FeeThe Penn State & Conrad Murray stories confuse me.
Are we supposed to help child molesters or kill them??? 30 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto