Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we get a heavy dose of Twitter’s favorite topic of discussion: Time Tebow. We also see why Herman Cain might have left the race prematurely.
Enjoy!
@JordyHamrick
JordanIt was funny for a couple of days but now I think it’s time to kill Bennett.
43 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@ReillyRick
rick reillyRT @GarrickDixon If you read Tom Brady’s lips when he was arguing with his coach he said “who the f*** do you think I am Tim Tebow?” 13 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@chrisbradshaw44
chris bradshawTim Tebow is the most talked about white Bronco since the OJ chase. 4 hours ago via Twidroyd for Android · powered by @socialditto
@TWlTTERWHALE
Fail WhaleI would #textSanta but he has my iPhone 4S. *hint hint* 6 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonI can’t believe Mary’s parents bought that whole “pregnant virgin” story. 55 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzIt’s tempting to think God is helping Tim Tebow win until you remember that Newt Gingrich is winning, too. #tebow #nfl 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyWrote my first Yelp review today. Now I’ll just sit back and wait for the money to start rolling in. 27 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinBeauty is only skin deep but that’s ok because my eyes can’t see any farther than that. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@clarkekant
Clarke KantI see all the men on the Urban Outfitters website take “don we now our gay apparel” very seriously. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@conanobrienswyf
StephanieI saw mommy emasculating Santa Claus. 2 hours ago via UberSocial for Android · powered by @socialditto
@Andy_Richter
Andy RichterSomeone should have told Herman Cain that believing you are incapable of doing anything wrong is really more of a white thing. 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto
@BiggsUNKO
Beardjamin ButtonTim Tebow gets Chick Fil A on Sundays… 13 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@robfee
Rob FeeIf you mean prone to seizures and night terrors then yes, I do have moves like Jagger. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadThey say everything is bigger in Texas. I hate to think what Khloe is gonna look like in Dallas. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy computer only has two usb ports in the front #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonThey should send Tim Tebow into Iran to get our drone back. With just a knife. 19 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto
@hihough
James HoughI guess the more interesting question is: What do the Winklevoss twins call THEIR balls? 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@nprscottsimon
Scott SimonWith all respect for Tim Tebow, who seems a fine young man, you don’t need much help from God to defeat the Chicago Bears. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
