As the remake assembly line out of Hollywood churns along unabated, the next big remake release on the horizon–aside the Spider-Man (unnecessary) reboot–is Total Recall. Starring Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale, the remake of the Arnold Schwarzenegger summer movie hit is set to hit the screens on August of this year, and commemorate the event, the marketing push is now underway.

To get us ready for the movie’s trailer, Sony Pictures dropped a trailer which announces the full trailer, which debuts on April 1st on ABC during the Heat/Celtics NBA game. Considering the trailer trailer features some movie footage, I suppose we call it a teaser trailer, but the fact is, if it wasn’t advertising the April 1st trailer’s launch, would it even exist? As for the footage that was made available in the 30 second spot, well, it looks a little bit like The Fifth Element is being remade instead of the Paul Verhoeven/Schwarzenegger movie from 1990.

For those who may not be aware of what the movie is about, Geek O System has a snippet of the press release, which should make things about as clear as mud:

Total Recall is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) whom he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) – there is no one Quaid can trust, except possibly a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) working for the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy)….

I just hope they keep the ultraviolence Verhoven so masterfully featured in his version of the Dick’s story.