Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Randy Travis arrested for public intoxication in Dallas this morning. Or as country fans call it, Monday.
Randy Travis arrested for public intoxication, drove his car into three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway.
That was Clint Eastwood? I still thought it was Madonna.
Clint Eastwood never realized that the actual Halftime in America involved male dancers in loincloths lipsynching ‘Vogue.’
If Sarah McLachlan and Clint Eastwood teamed up to make a commercial, one single viewing could bum out a country as big as Yugoslavia.
Love the day after the Super Bowl. Just found a Pizza Roll in my beard.
How long do we think Tom Brady will be upset about the loss after he remembers he gets to put it in Gisele Bundchen?
I’m really saddened by the news about Syria and Iran today. I really thought Madonna’s ‘World Peace’ sign at halftime would work
M.I.A. gives the finger at the Super Bowl. ooooooh. she’s SO defiant. 13 year olds the world over snickered.
M.I.A. should just say she was flipping the bird at those GoDaddy ads and everybody would be completely off her case.
Wes Welker shaved before the postgame press conference. I guess he couldn’t handle both the drop and that mustache.
Wes Welker and his mustache are leaving football to go play for the 1970s Pittsburgh Pirates.
Now that football is over I can return to ignoring my wife and kids for no good reason.
Just found out Snoop Dogg isn’t even a real detective.
I’m so hungover right now I need to make an “It Gets Better” video for my asshole.
I forgot to put a fabric softener sheet in the dryer, now my clothes aren’t as soft.