Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, the Twitterverse is buzzing about all aspects of Tuesday’s State of the Union address. We also find some funny tweets from McDonald’s failed #LittleThings Twitter hashtag campaign. Oh yeah, and Rihanna tattooed “Thug Life” on her hands.
Enjoy!
@JohnBoy
JOHN BOY YaBOY™After seein Rihanna get “Thug Life” tatted on her knuckles, i think we all owe Chris Brown an apology.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@dpicco
dpiccoThe stomach pain it causes almost never develops into diarrhea. #LittleThings 22 minutes ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto
@mrLdavis
LeTroy GodashianWayment. Rihanna got a thug life tattoo in pink? Tupac didnt die on the cross for that. 36 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@ScottChernoff
Scott ChernoffTrending today in the United States: Navy Seals, Thug Life, Cheese Quesadilla. President Obama was right – the state of our union IS strong. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JosephScrimshaw
Joseph ScrimshawLast night’s dream: Obama’s joke writers were posted at the borders, doing stand up to deter people from entering America. 5 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@VanityFair
VANITY FAIRDo you think if Obama said really quickly, “Everyonebutericcantorclap,” it would trick Eric Cantor into clapping? 18 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@JShahryar
Josh ShahryarIt’s settled. Eric Cantor is of House Slytherin. #SotU 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@half__ro
HalfroI’m sick of finding uidentifiable #littlethings in my burgers and fries 29 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@realjeffreyross
Jeffrey RossNever realized John Boehner is Mexican. He has a better tan than the Secretary of Agriculture who is outside all day #SOTU 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JoeMande
Joe MandeWatch John Boehner and imagine that he’s discretely using a fleshlight. It’s hilarious. #SOTU 18 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@God_Damn_Batman
The BatmanEver walk through a museum and think, “man, could I make a hell of an entrance through that skylight.” 2 minutes ago via Batcomputer · powered by @socialditto
@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyI use Facebook to show my friends that I don’t need to be married or have children to be unhappy. 11 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@yoyoha
Josh Hara“Not all Germans were mean” – Schindler’s List in tweet form 21 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzObama vs. Gingrich would be like Seal Team Six vs. Beached Whale One. 30 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNRoger Goodell extends his contract by 5 years, or as James Harrison measures it, $900,000 in fines. 38 minutes ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto