Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have tweets about new and upcoming technology like the iPhone 5 and Amazon’s just-announced Kindle Fire tablet, we see who might be replacing Andy Rooney, and we also see how the porn industry could really brand the month of October.
Enjoy!
@fleshcake
G.T. CollinsI’d understand getting a ticket for not coming to a complete stop if every murder ever was solved.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeCNN
The Fake CNNBREAKING: iPhone 5 to include “drunk mode” that way your drunk texts never leave your phone. 15 minutes ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@dmoren
Dan MorenJeff Bezos now being led away in handcuffs. Did you know it’s against the law to yell Kindle Fire in a crowded theater? 6 hours ago via Twitterrific for Mac · powered by @socialditto
@TheThryll
Will PhillipsIt sucks that we still don’t have all the weapons from Contra. 16 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@danieltosh
daniel toshthe dolphins will end the season 13-3 #insaneproclamations 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@kellyoxford
kelly oxfordI bet most braille on public signs says: “How did you know this was here?” 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Hadzilla
Jeffrey Raymond“What a pussy!” – George of the Jungle reading about Sonny Bono’s death 16 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@robdelaney
rob delaneyHappy New Year to my Jewish pals! As a gift, I got you a calendar that ACKNOWLEDGES THE BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST THE MESSIAH. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TomBodett
Tom BodettI don’t drink or use drugs. Trying to figure out how to prep for tonight’s Red Sox finale. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto
@DougBenson
Doug BensonIf the porn industry doesn’t call next month Cocktober, they are ignoring a tremendous marketing angle. #GoodMorning 8 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@timcarvell
Tim CarvellI assume CBS will keep going with what’s been working for them, and replace Andy Rooney with Ashton Kutcher. 17 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto