Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we catch a pretty funny trending hashtag, #ChildrensBooksMadeMoreExciting. Twitter is also buzzing about the news coming out of the Academy Awards and we learn what it means to have a phone voice similar to your real voice.
Answer: They lie dormant for a period of time before becoming active and irritating. Question: What are cold sores or Coldplay.
I see no legitimate reason why Ghostface Killah can’t host this year’s Academy Awards.
Belichick says they tried everything to make Haynesworth work, including putting a picture of a pork chop on the inside of his visor.
If your phone voice isn’t different than your regular voice, I will assume that you’re a serial killer.
An asteroid just failed to destroy the Earth, so it’s up to Goldman Sachs now.
I heard that Herman Cain came up with his 999 plan while he was interviewing a German woman for a job.
If God loved us, doughnuts would be health food.
#Oscars hosts competed against each other would be a hit.Twitter has made it clear that a 12-week reality show in which a dozen potential
Watching my dad use his new iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try to communicate with her dead grandma on a Ouija board.
Since when is Earth afraid of asteroids, by the way? We’re
In my experience, cross-eyed employees are the best deterrent against shoplifting. You just can’t be positive that they’re not watching.
#childrensbooksmademoreexciting If You Give a Mouse a Pot Cookie
I’ll host the Oscars if Billy Crystal and Wolverine are busy…