Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, the Twitterverse is “excited” for the big return of the McRib sandwich at McDonalds. We also learn what God really said to himself at the dawn of creation and find out who really deserves the NFL MVP award this year.
The McRib is back…. I predict I will smell like BBQ sauce and shame later. No eye contact with me today. Thank you.
At the dawn of Creation I looked real tough at Myself and said “Go ahead. Make a day.”
It’s feeling like a 4 McGriddle morning.
Overheard today in restaurant: “Can you stop listening to our conversation?”
I keep reading tweets that say “The McRib is back.” I knew it: McRIbs are made from human backs.
I bet $100,000 the chick crying in the bar bathroom likes ranch dressing on her pizza.
I want to make fun of old men’s balls but that’s just low hanging fruit.
I’m going to dress up as a sexy slut for Halloween.
Tim Tebow has started to call 3rd downs “Muslims” because of how much trouble he has converting them.
Will Occupy Wall Street 2 star Shia LaBeouf?
The Death Star engineer sent me a Direct Message about the two meter hole, but twitter was over capacity and I never got it.
Glad they’re making Great Gatsby in 3-D. My favorite part of the book was when Gatsby threw knives at the reader’s face.
If the Colts go 0-16, Peyton Manning should win the MVP award this year.