Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today is National Coffee Day, so coffee is big on Twitter. People also have a lot of material when it comes to the Red Sox and Braves and their epic fails from last night.
Enjoy!
@FauxJohnMadden
Faux John MaddenEven LeBron James thinks the Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves choked.
17 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@biorhythmist
mattI like my coffee like I like my women: helping me poop. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzThings people used to say while drunk off their ass at 3 AM they now say on Twitter while perfectly sober. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@yoyoha
Josh HaraIf singing along to a song in your car looked as cool as it felt, no one would ever not get laid. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonIt’s funny how we all just accepted the song ‘Black Velvet’ as if it actually made any fucking sense. 4 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@DobbyWrnsHryPtr
KirstenCandy really is the best pickup line for little boys. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@firstworldme
First World ProblemsI just made a sandwich, and the piece of bread on top is smaller. #firstworldproblems 5 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNNew book reveals Walter Payton was a depressed, suicidal drug user after he retired. Current Bears fans say they can relate. 6 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@BettyFckinWhite
Betty F*ckin’ WhiteHappy National Coffee Day! I like my men like I like my coffee, held tightly between my thighs while I’m driving. 10 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@someecards
someecardsCongratulations to the Atlanta Braves on having their epic collapse overshadowed by the Red Sox’s. http://t.co/uatXSOl8 #RedSox 5 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto
@HairyJew4Life
Hebrew HammerMy girlfriend got in a car accident and it’s been really hard on her, being in a wheelchair and all. Plus, I’m sure being dumped sucks. 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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