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Terra Nova, Green Day, and Monopoly at McDonalds

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Terra Nova, Green Day, and Monopoly at McDonalds
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    It’s Friday! And for that we are thankful. It seemed to drag on a bit for Drunk Hulk though. Like most Fridays, the tweeting topics are varied and have no real rhyme or reason. Enjoy a few laughs before your weekend:

    I wish the dinosaurs from “Terra Nova” were on “Whitney”. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I wonder if Obama is collecting all the terrorists he’s killing in a giant pile he’ll show off at ground zero right before the election? 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    #FF Nobody. Go outside and play. Paint a tree. Climb a hillock. Notice birds. 6 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto

    The worst part about this time of the year is having to go wake up Green Day. 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    COME ON 5 O’CLOCK! DRUNK HULK SEE MICHAEL HANEKE MOVIE THAT MOVE FASTER THAN TODAY! 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Relax about your museum, shitty city. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    We all say we wouldn’t let another Holocaust happen, yet here we are in a world where Kid Rock has multiple platinum albums. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    When I’m eating cereal I have to turn my volume up on my television because the food crunching is so loud. #firstworldproblems 3 hours ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

    Obama has now executed Anwar al-Awlaki and Bin Laden. Rick Perry has executed an innocent man and a coyote. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Last year I played #McDMonopoly every meal for a month. I then had to play #McDOperation. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I only got into this Messiah thing because I was a really shitty carpenter. 35 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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