Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
My life is one big “how did this big bruise happen?”
Tampa avoided Hurricane Isaac but female residents are still preparing for up to eight inches of Cain.
I couldn’t tweet for three days because I accidentally opened GarageBand and had to wait for it to load.
An archbishop being arrested for DUI is an improvement.
With Vince Young, Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens and now Chris Cooley, the unemployment office would beat the #Jets 35-3
EDITORIAL WRITERS: Any time someone calls the presidential race a “marathon” is a chance to point out a Kenyan will likely win it. #RNC
MT @MarkAgee Rush Limbaugh blamed Obama for the hurricane. Do what you want, but I’m voting for THE GUY WHO CAN CONTROL THE FREAKING WEATHER
I just checked out the news on MySpace! Lance Armstrong’s retiring, and a hurricane’s headed for New Orleans. What a crazy year 2005 is.
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes
My favorite iPhone feature is the one that lets you ignore everyone and everything around you.
I miss the good old days when no one knew what gluten was.