Susan G. Komen, The Super Bowl, and Roseanne

Josh WolfordSocial Media

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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.


Komen announces new event: Backpedal for the Cure 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

"Abort!" -- overheard at Komen headquarters #Komen 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

UPDATE: Roseanne Barr will run for the Green Party's presidential nomination. Meanwhile, Tom Arnold will become assistant manager at Arby's. 22 minutes ago via SocialOomph ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Comedian Roseanne Barr files docs to become President. She's already been endorsed by Hostess, Oreo's and strawberry milk. 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Today is National Wear Red Day....ummm not in the hood. 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Gisele asking friends to pray for Tom Brady is like Mitt Romney asking a guy for spare change. 21 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Puppy Bowl to be aired on Food Network in Vietnam. 4 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

"Baby fat" is the weight you put on from eating too many babies. 1 hour ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Has Tim Tebow commented on the future of Peyton Manning yet because I think everybody else has.
#sb46 17 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I think this Super Bowl could come down to a question of who scores the most total points in the allotted time. 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The trouble with doctors is that if I liked someone telling me everything is my own fault all the time I'd still be married. 31 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My school started its own meme page on facebook. #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Kobayashi beats record after eating 337 wings at the "Wing Bowl," or as Rex Ryan refers to it, "Lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings." 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I don't need to read articles or books on atheism. My dog's farts assure me we are all alone. 2 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

"More like Sir Twix-a-Lot." -What I'm waiting to say if I ever see an extra overweight Sir Mix-a-Lot 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Josh Wolford
Josh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer. Follow him on Twitter: @joshgwolf Instagram: @joshgwolf Google+: Joshua Wolford StumbleUpon: joshgwolf