Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
You can pass off any old bullshit by simply prefacing it with “some claim that” or “some wonder if.”
Great news in Jobs Report! Steve Jobs still dead & not a flesh hungry zombie.
GOOD NEWS: Economy adds 114,000 new jobs. BAD NEWS: They’re all in one Super Wal-Mart.
Just when you thought you couldn’t be any more disappointed, you find a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in your sidekick’s dresser.
“Creation science” carries the same intellectual heft as “dragon anatomy”.
Cardinals offensive line now being called the Kardashians after getting penetrated so many times.
I’d rather listen to Chewbacca get his chest waxed than listen to an entire Nickelback song.
The Jobs report is a conspiracy? You mean he’s been alive the whole time?
One year ago today Steve Jobs died. Later today Apple will be unveiling a much slimmer casket.
Express your latent homosexual desires by wearing your favorite football player’s jersey.
I may be a crappy mom but at least I’ve never called a pet my “fur baby”.
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