Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Big ups to 100%-no-history-of-pedophilia groups like the Catholic Church and the Boy Scouts for continuing to keep kids safe from the homos!
Rush Limbaugh thinks Batman villain Bane is a dig at Bain Capital. Apparently he’s the only fat, opinionated white guy NOT into comic books.
Turns out the cows who can’t spell “Eat More Chicken” correctly aren’t the most ignorant people working for Chick-Fil-A.
Every time The Dark Knight Rises drops 1% on Rotten Tomatoes, another fat guy with a pony tail falls past my window.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have the combined talent to make the music of Kanye West.
Think how shitty our species will be if there’s a nuclear war and the only people who repopulate Earth are those weirdos who build bunkers.
I enjoy Breaking Bad even more when I pretend that the entire series is just a prequel to Malcolm in the Middle.
How about a moment of silence for the PalmPilot.
There was a week this year where you could’ve sold a shirt with Jeremy Lin’s picture above the words “KONY 2012” & made a million dollars.
If you use Bing while wearing the new google glasses, they shoot needles into your eyes.
Kind of ironic that the only music they play in Hell is Christian rock music.
I think Rush Limbaugh is onto something. How come there are never any pictures of President Obama & Batman together?