Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we get tweets about Facebook’s loathed changes to the news feed, Ron Artest’s (Metta World Peace) early exit from Dancing With The Stars, and we see what aliens would learn from a visit to Earth.
Enjoy!
@yoyoha
Josh Hara“UGH, IT’S SO ROUND AND USEFUL, I HATE IT!” – Facebook User the day the wheel came out
4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Matt_Tice
Matt TiceI got pulled over so I cried like girls do but the cop still gave me a ticket for speeding and another for being a “Fag.” Dad? Is that you? 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@badbanana
Tim SiedellIt would be amazing if Wolf Blitzer married Burt Wolf because I don’t think those guys are even gay. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@andylevy
Andy LevyThe only possible conclusion from the amount of R.E.M. tweets in my timeline is that I follow way too many white people. 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@robfee
Rob FeeI like my women like my coffee; bold, rich, and hopefully a bunch of baristas haven’t dipped their balls in them. 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@steveagee
Steve Ageeif aliens learn one thing from visiting Earth it’s that humans like to watch other humans fuck. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@shariv67
Shari VanderwerfIn honor of Stephen King’s birthday, I’m reenacting the elevator doors scene from The Shining in my pants. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@EliBraden
Eli BradenAnyone surprised Ron Artest was first to go on Dancing With the Stars has obviously never seen a horror movie 17 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@FrankConniff
Frank ConniffI googled “Santorum” and the results were disgusting: stories and articles about Rick Santorum. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JimGaffigan
Jim GaffiganI’m starting to think Rick Perry and Tyler Perry aren’t even related. 5 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinI bring a deer carcass when I fly as my carrion. 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@KingWillonius
Willonius B Dynomite#newfacebook reminds me of #oldmyspace 3 hours ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto
