Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets. Today we have tweets about Rod Blagojevich, Charles Bronson, Jay Cutler, and Pearl Harbor.
Enjoy!
@robfee
Rob FeeRod Blagojevich sentenced to 14 years in prison. Jerry Sandusky replied “14 years? Gross! 12 years is the max. What are we talking about?”
4 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinBefore you ask for a “room temperature water”, consider what it says about your personality. 31 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@robdelaney
rob delaneyTo imagine the horror Americans felt 70 years ago, watch the film “Pearl Harbor” & multiply that feeling by 2 or maybe 3. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonAfter being sentenced to 14 years in prison for corruption, I bet Rod Blagojevich wishes he had just killed Michael Jackson. 40 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@Justin_Stangel
Justin StangelBlagojevich gets 14 years for corruption. When he goes to prison, 1st thing he should do is beat up the guy with the worst hair 48 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadKim K back w/Reggie? Nah. She went from RayJ to Reggie to Miles Austin to Kris Humphries. Pretty sure Andy Dalton is next on the color wheel 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNDr. had Cutler hold football during surgery to ensure pins/screws placement allowed grip, then superglued the ball to prevent interceptions. 3 minutes ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto
@PimpBillClinton
Bill ClintonIf masturbation really prevented prostate cancer there’d be no such thing as prostate cancer. 1 hour ago via TweetCaster for iOS · powered by @socialditto
@bluejeans976
J. J. Just saw the Three Stooges trailer, actually doesn’t look too bad 24 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@FilthyRichmond
Jocelyn PlumsGlad we never had to see Charles Bronson wear a Bluetooth. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@michaelianblack
Michael Ian BlackI am tolerant towards every lifestyle except people who use Groupon. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s Head2 Redskins suspended for violating the substance abuse policy. It’s safe to assume this was recreational use, not performance enhancing. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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