@reetamac
syreeta mcfaddenSo…Prop. 8 ruling *and* Santorum surge on the same Tuesday? Oh mama universe, you funny. 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@thecajunboy
BrettThink of all the witches Rick Santorum would’ve burned had he been alive in the 1600s. 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@edbott
Ed BottE-mailed PR pitches I didn’t finish reading: “Happy Hump Day!” 1 hour ago via MetroTwit ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@bazecraze
Alex Baze“There is no gawd.” -teen athiest 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@McCainBlogette
Meghan McCainIf Rick Santorum becomes our nominee – it will be the first really significant evidence I’ve seen that the Mayans might be right about 2012. 5 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@clarkekant
Clarke KantI hope someone else’s life flashes before my eyes when I die, because otherwise BOR-RING. 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@God_Damn_Batman
The BatmanAnother Robin died today. Apparently it’s hard to hear Joker sneaking up behind you when your earbuds are blasting Kelly Clarkson. 1 hour ago via Batcomputer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@FakeAPStylebook
Fake AP StylebookIt is acceptable to refer to all court proceedings as a “trial,” because seriously, you ever sat through one of those things? 2 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@hipstermermaid
braden graeberGoogle Maps satellite view is great because you can pretend that you’re flying while you stalk people. 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy child prefers Dreamworks to Pixar. #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@JoeMande
Joe MandeI can’t watch ‘Luck’ or ‘Game of Thrones’ because my dog barks at any horse that appears on screen. #whitepitbullproblems 3 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@TheThryll
Will Phillips“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” -guy very confused about what cake is 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@robdelaney
rob delaneyIf you see the word “Catholic” in a headline, you know it’s bad news. 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@Comedyonedge
Mark WilliamsonLouis Vuitton condoms. Now people can enjoy their partners blowing it all on Louis Vuitton. 14 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto