Presidents Day, Kurt Cobain, and Cookies

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Presidents Day, Kurt Cobain, and Cookies
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    If Kurt Cobain saw “Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain” was a trending topic on Twitter he would probably kill himself again. 32 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain, the Foo Fighters have never been the same without you 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain. Your career sort of stalled, don’t know what you’ve been up to recently. Hope you can get back to makin’ music! 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Happy President’s Day! There should be a “First Ladies Day” to honor the women who suffered while their husbands slept around with interns. 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    President Obama makes $400,000 a year while in office. Paul Walker made $7,000,000 for 2 Fast 2 Furious. Happy President’s Day, everybody! 2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Happy Birthday, Kurt Cobain. If you were alive now, with a face that survived a gunshot blast, you would make better music than Chris Brown. 2 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    This year Im giving up Lent for alcohol 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    “Aaah! It’s a trap!” – Lint 11 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Sometimes I wish the United States could “clear history.” #presidentsday 18 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I have this tradition where every Presidents’ Day I eat like William Howard Taft for 12 months. 38 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Getting something “trending” on Twitter is roughly as useful as writing it in lipstick on the side of a bag of dog food. 53 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I changed the preferences, but my mouth still accepts all cookies. 🙁 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    My mom tossed my allergy medicine because she thought they were ecstasy pills #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I’d rather have have that face-ripping-monkey rip off my face than to be stuck behind one of those extreme couponers in the grocery line. 3 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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