Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we get tweets about Paula Deen’s diabetes (and subsequent ad campaign), John Edward’s heart problems and ways the FBI will begin to hide classified info.
Enjoy!
@rilaws
Richard LawsonCan’t believe Paula Deen turned out to be Wilford Brimley doing drag this whole time.
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@MPHDmusic
MPHDBREAKING NEWS TODAY: PAULA DEEN HAS TYPE 2 DIABETES. OTHER NEWS: AIR IS IN MOST PLACES ON EARTH. ALSO: THE SKY IS BLUE. 5 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@TheTweetOfGod
God“John Edwards Has Life-Threatening Heart Problem.” Yea, as has already been well-documented. 34 minutes ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeCNN
The Fake CNNFBI to begin storing classified info. in folder labeled “Nickelback.” 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@yoyoha
Josh HaraDear Religion, Pics or it didn’t happen. Love, Science 12 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DepressedDarth
Darth VaderNow that S&P downgraded Italian and French bonds, can I interest you in some very safe “Death Star 3” bonds? 16 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@EricStangel
Eric StangelTila Tequlia to become Jewish. That is going to be one fucked up bat mitzvah… 40 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzGOP Trivia: Newt Gingrich has now been in the race longer than any of his marriages. 56 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@biorhythmist
mattI will keep donating to Suicide Girls until they find a cure. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@HAL9000_
HAL 9000#ThingsIveLearned That “humans can’t survive in the vacuum of space” rumor isn’t quite as foolproof as I was led to believe 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNWilt Chamberlain’s 34 free-throw attempts record was beaten last night, but his record of having 34 penises remains uncontested. 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto
@clarkekant
Clarke KantI’m not embarrassed to admit I’ve googled “Scarlett Johansson boobs” before, but I am a bit embarrassed to admit I’ve done it 140,000 times. 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
WebProNews is an iEntry Publication