Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Twitter was aflutter with a wide range of topics, including Pat Sajak’s shocking revelation, and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s shocking finger wave. We also participate in the trending hashtag #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies.
Enjoy!
@Tom_Bergeron
Tom BergeronPat Sajak cops to being behind the Wheel (of Fortune) while intoxicated. So what? For 6 years I hosted Hollywood Squares with no pants.
17 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@briandunkleman
brian dunklemanPat Sajak admits to hosting Wheel of Fortune while intoxicated. Big deal, I hosted an entire season of Idol without a soul 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
@drewtoothpaste
drewtoothpasteMillions of people drink at work and Pat Sajak is the only one to get a news story. Looks like the 99% loses again. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheOnion
The Onion“Joe Paterno gave me a place where I could reach my full potential.” – Jerry Sandusky http://t.co/yLE7wwa5 22 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@theharryshearer
Harry ShearerTo honor the memory of Joe Paterno, Jerry Sandusky observed a minute of silent horsing around in the shower. 1 day ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@bsgross606
Brad GrossIf Red Bull #GivesYouWings, Adderall is at least a jetpack 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@randiradio
Randi RhodesJan Brewer: “I hope [Obama] takes some of the lessons of Arizona back with him to Washington.” Yeah, like more funding for mental health. 45 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@YourFavWhiteGal
jac of all trades. Pat Sajak admits to hosting Wheel of Fortune drunk. Pretty soon Vanna White will admit to never sitting next to Nelly on an airplane. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@MlTTR0MNEY
Willard Mitt RomneyThat Jan Brewer is a card. Someone put their finger in my face once. I fired him then ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DCdebbie
DC DebbieWhen “Jan Brewer” trends on twitter, I usually guess she’s either found headless bodies or is doing something racist or both. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@truthncomedy
TruthnComedy™We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap. 40 minutes ago via LaterBro.com · powered by @socialditto
@mileskahn
mileskahnYou Will Meet a Tall Dark Strangler #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies 52 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@pstoneharris
Phillip S HarrisAnnie Holocaust #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies 28 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@mbizar
Michael BizarHannah and Her Fisters #WoodyAllenHorrorMovies 7 minutes ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto
@alexblagg
Alex BlaggNow can we all finally agree that “Sajacked” is the best possible euphemism for getting wasted? 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinOn behalf of Neil Young I’d like to declare total victory over Lynyrd Skynyrd. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto